Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Aaargh me hearties!

To many people a pirate is an attractive scoundrel such as the one played by Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean, or they're one legged old codgers with an eye patch and parrot who always stuck to 'the code'. I'm not sure why they've become such considered such fun, romantic and honourable characters when piracy was, and still is, the action of very dangerous criminals. I doubt many of us would like to parlez with a Somalian pirate.

Pirating work is the act of infringing a person's copyright. This can be plagiarism, illegal downloads or reproduction of the work or using a picture you've found on the internet without permission of the person who took it.

Broadcasting without official permission is also known as piracy. I believe pirate radio stations were so named because the early ones broadcast from ships to avoid detection.

Gosh that wasn't very cheerful was it? I can't cheer you up with a picture of Captain Jack Sparrow as I've not taken one, so you'll have to make do with a link and these terrible jokes ...

What are a pirate's favourite pattern for jumpers?



Because they aaaargh!

Where does he buy them?

He doesn't he steals them from Asdaaaaargh! (Or Walmaaaarght! in the U.S.)

Friday, 11 April 2014

Getting catty

If you have a cat, or used to, or know someone who has then you might like to try this competition to write a true cat related story. Thanks to writing friend and cat lover Charlie Britten for telling me about this one.

The prizes are £50 Amazon vouchers and publication in Your Cat magazine.

There were always cats on the farm when I was growing up and some were real characters. There must be a suitable story somewhere in my memory.

Thursday, 10 April 2014


As my travels took me close to the home of Ireland's Own, I thought I'd pop in for a chat.

Sean Nolan was very welcoming and friendly. He let me snoop round the office, sit in the editor's chair and send myself a few acceptances. (One of those isn't true)

Sadly I didn't get to meet Phil Murphy - maybe next time.

Wednesday, 9 April 2014


Oddly my dictionary doesn't give either of the definitions I associate with these three letters. To me they stand for Take a Break. I'm not terribly keen on the weekly mag, but TAB's Fiction Feast is great. When writing stories I indent paragraphs using the tab key (then take the indents out again for TAB!)

See where it says 'Top Twist' on the cover of the current issue? That's my story they're talking about!

Non writers probably think of a tab as a drinks bill (oh, OK writers might be familiar with that one too) A a small strip of material used for hanging up clothes is a tab and tabbing is the action of attaching these. A stage curtain can be known as a tab and it might need to be tabbed in order to hang it.

To keep tabs on someone is to keep them under surveillance.

Monday, 7 April 2014

Poetic position

Would you like to be a poet in residence at Jane Austen's house this summer and be paid £10,000 for doing it? That sounds like someone's dream job - not mine but I can see it's a wonderful opportunity for the right candidate.

If you could have any writing or reading related job, even a fictional one, what would it be?

Personally I'd like to keep doing what I'm doing now, but with a few more sales. Or, as we're dreaming here, lots and lots more sales. And do more of the writing on cruise ships.

Sunday, 6 April 2014

On my travels

I'm off on another adventure. On the way I'll be stopping off at Leandra's blog. Other than that, internet access is likely to be patchy, so I'll see you when the fog lifts (as my Grandad used to say)

Here's a competition to keep you busy until I'm back online. The prize is a pittance, but you only have to write one line. Read last years winners for an idea of what they're looking for.

Friday, 4 April 2014

I don't know

What do you think, should I enter this short story competition with the theme of decisions? The top prize is $180 so I just might. (kidding - I know I will)

I'm less sure about this poetry one. For a start it's a poetry competition. Secondly I'm not sure if the age range 17-adult means up to adult or anyone over 17. The prizes are chocolate and book tokens though, which is a fairly irresistible combination. If you can write in Welsh you'll have the added dilemma of which language to use.

I'm definitely going to try this one. I love visiting historic houses so I'll enjoy the research. The prizes are a guided tour of Levens Hall, membership of the Historic Houses Association, afternoon tea (I'm very keen on afternoon tea) and £150.

I don't know - what would be the best possible prize?

Do you recognise this historic building?

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

It was a good try

I was super organised and wrote a post for this month's Insecure Writer's Support Group yesterday morning. Excellent it was, full of heart wrenching angst, worry and insecurity about my long spell without an acceptance. You'd have cried.

Then I got three acceptances. Yes three and yes, I do know what the date was yesterday, but they were sent after midday and are definitely the real thing. I'm now exceedingly bucked up and chipper (no doubt annoyingly so). Posting the whinge just doesn't seem right.

Now I know not everyone will have had such good news and I feel for you if that's the case. I know how rotten it feels. It's temporary though. You'll write other things, send them other places and get a better response. Keep trying - it'll happen.

Oh and the original post? I'm keeping hold of it as I expect it'll be appropriate some other time.

Monday, 31 March 2014

Quick cash

I can't remember if I mentioned this poetry competition. The closing date is tomorrow and the first prize is $1,000 so if you have a funny poem, get it in now.

This magazine pays $700 for short stories and is currently open to submissions.

And a reminder about this non fiction competition for women only. $500 prize but as it closes today you'll need to write fast unless you already have a memoir, essay or other type of creative non fiction written. Seems they're open to any subject and style just as long as it doesn't have a male author. Men however will be permitted to read the winning piece.

There's a bit more notice for this short story competion, less prize money at £10 WH Smiths voucher for first place, but you can't have everything.

I'm guessing you'd rather be told twice about a competition than not at all if I'm not sure I've included it before and would rather hear late than never about any I come across at the last minute?